Physical Relationship With Co-Worker Becoming Complicated

Martin and Josie Brown
Wed, 09 Apr 2014 21:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

Dear John: A couple of months after starting a new job, one of my colleagues and I got physically involved after an office party. Unfortunately, now he has informed me that he is steadily seeing someone else. Still, he'd like us to "stay friends." By this, he means he wouldn't mind periodically coming over to pursue our very hot physical connection. Of course, I'm hoping that he eventually sees more in our relationship and will drop her for me. What are my chances that this will happen? — One Cubicle Away, in Richmond, Va.

Dear One Cubicle: To be honest, your chances are slim at best. This guy is playing the field, and he's most likely playing you. If you're in the relationship just for the sex, then acknowledge this with open eyes and a protected heart. If you want an exclusive relationship, keep looking around until you find a guy you don't have to share.

Dear John: I am a single 37-year-old female with thoughts of marriage one day, but I am undecided about children. Recently, I met a divorced man with two children, ages 7 and 12. He has partial custody (every other weekend). He seems like a great guy, and I am definitely attracted to him. My concern is that I am unsure about how I feel dating a man who has two children. — Needing Courage, in Pasadena, Calif.
Updated: Thu Apr 10, 2014

Dear John: A couple of months after starting a new job, one of my colleagues and I got physically involved after an office party. Unfortunately, now he has informed me that he is steadily seeing someone else. Still, he'd like us to "stay friends." By this, he means he wouldn't mind periodically coming over to pursue our very hot physical connection. Of course, I'm hoping that he eventually sees more in our relationship and will drop her for me. What are my chances that this will happen? — One Cubicle Away, in Richmond, Va.

Dear One Cubicle: To be honest, your chances are slim at best. This guy is playing the field, and he's most likely playing you. If you're in the relationship just for the sex, then acknowledge this with open eyes and a protected heart. If you want an exclusive relationship, keep looking around until you find a guy you don't have to share.

Dear John: I am a single 37-year-old female with thoughts of marriage one day, but I am undecided about children. Recently, I met a divorced man with two children, ages 7 and 12. He has partial custody (every other weekend). He seems like a great guy, and I am definitely attracted to him. My concern is that I am unsure about how I feel dating a man who has two children. — Needing Courage, in Pasadena, Calif.

Dear Courage: Being around children, at all stages of their growth, is a truly enriching experience. Sure, it can be daunting to someone who has never had a child, and you will have to understand and accept your partner's responsibility to his children and their needs, as they will always be his first priority. This does not, however, preclude you having a happy and fulfilling relationship with him. Take the chance that he wants to make room in his life for you, and open your heart as well to accepting him and his family. I don't think you'll regret it.